I write long captions but analyze: should I write short captions or no captions? Map the caption strategy for my platform and content type. Show me the caption psychology: when people read vs. when captions are ignored. Calculate: if I cut captions to one sentence, does it impact reach? Give me the caption formula: these situations need long captions, these need short, these need none. Include: when captions help vs. hurt retention, how caption length affects algorithmic interpretation, and why your essay captions might be unread.