I'll be happy when they change but analyze: am I postponing life? Map my happiness: conditional on their change vs. within my control vs. independent of relationship. Calculate: time spent waiting vs. likelihood of change vs. my happiness now. Show me the postponement trap: waiting for them to change while life passes. Give me the truth: they won't change, I'm avoiding my own happiness. Include: whether they'll actually change, if I'm postponing my life, and whether I should be happy now or leave.