They're always defensive but analyze: why? Map defensiveness: my approach vs. their insecurity vs. avoiding accountability. Calculate: how I bring up issues vs. their defensive response vs. resolution rate. Show me the defensiveness source: I'm attacking, they won't take accountability. Give me the truth: my approach needs work, they can't handle any criticism. Include: whether I'm approaching poorly, if they're defensively avoiding responsibility, and whether we can communicate productively.