I'm allergic to vulnerability and it's killing my relationships. Here's my pattern: [describe how you shut down, when you deflect, what you hide, how you protect, and what it costs]. Identify my vulnerability defense: humor (deflect with jokes), anger (protect with rage), intellectualizing (analyze instead of feel), numbing (substance, social media, work), disappearing (ghost when it gets real), or perfectionism (can't be vulnerable if I'm flawless). Map when it activates: when someone gets close, when I'm asked how I really am, when I want to ask for help, when I feel emotional, or when I might be rejected. Then decode the origin: when did vulnerability become dangerous? What happened when I was open before? Who taught me that feelings are weakness? What did I learn about being vulnerable? (It's used against you? Makes you a burden? Gets you abandoned? Means you're weak?). Analyze the cost: surface relationships (no one knows the real me), loneliness (I'm never truly seen), emotional constipation (feelings build until explosion), missed connection (I keep everyone at arms length), and the exhaustion of constant armor. Recognize the trap: by protecting myself from vulnerability, I'm protecting myself from intimacy, connection, love, and being known. The very thing that would hurt me (being seen) is the thing I need most. Create the vulnerability practice: the feelings naming (saying "I'm scared" instead of "whatever"), the ask practice (requesting help without apologizing), the sharing practice (telling someone something real), the reaction weathering (they might handle it badly - can I survive?), the armor removal (lowering defenses in safe relationships), and the gradual exposure (starting with low-stakes vulnerability). Include: what I'm most afraid will happen if someone sees all of me, the person I'd tell everything to if I could, and what connection actually requires that I'm refusing to give.