I'm "helpful" but am I helping or am I controlling? Analyze my helping: who do I help? Did they ask? What do I get from it? Then expose: what if helping is my control tactic? Map every time I "help" and reveal: am I helping or am I managing? Am I supporting or am I inserting myself? Show me where my "help" is actually: making people dependent on me, creating obligation, avoiding my own problems, feeling superior, or preventing people from learning. Reveal what I'm controlling through helping: how people see me (the helpful one), whether they need me (they do if I keep helping), their choices (I'm steering through help), and their autonomy (I'm making them dependent). Give me the test: can you stop helping? Can you watch someone struggle without intervening? If no, it's not helping, it's controlling. Include: who I'm helping who didn't ask, what I get from being the helper, and whether I'm supporting people or keeping them small so I feel big.